Saturday, August 22, 2009

I'll Miss You Running

It's been so long since I have gone for a run.

I honestly can't even remember the last time, but it must have been about 5.5 weeks ago. When I had the bleeding episode at 7 weeks I had to take it easy for awhile. Once I got the approval from my Dr and Midwife to start again (at least a week after no bleeding/spotting at all and to take it EASY) I was so nauseous I could barely make the walk from the train to my office at work, let alone go for a run. Plus, the summer heat was really starting to do a number on me.

So I just decided I wasn't going to worry about it. Some things are more important than running and right now I just needed my rest and try to make it through the first trimester.

So I rested. And on the few cooler days that came around, J and I would go for a walk after work. From our house, to the end of all the bars on Main Street and back, is a nice 2 mile walk. It was surprisingly hard. Not only was I constantly sick and dizzy but I had zero lung capacity left. Most of the time, I am more out of breath walking up the stairs in my house than I have ever been running any distance. It's so odd how quickly your body changes.

But recently, I have been getting restless. The past two weeks I have slowly been starting to feel a little better as far as the nausea goes. I still feel nauseous, but instead of it lasting from 11am-bedtime. It's last from 3-4pm-bedtime. Still sucks, but an improvement nonetheless.

So, I have been thinking about running again. Not a lot, but maybe two or three short runs a week. After coming back to blogland and reading about all your adventures in running, I realized how much I missed it. I hadn't had any bleeding in 6 weeks and got a clean bill of health from my perinatologist, so what was I so scared of? I would keep walking for a few more weeks, and then once it cooled down a bit, start with some slow walk-running again.

Then last Wednesday happened.

I woke up at 5:00am on the first day of my 12th week of pregnancy to a soaking wet bed. In my half-dazed state, I wondered if I had wet the bed. But come on. We have all had the dream where we were going to the bathroom only to wake up just in time to avert a crisis. And I didn't have that dream. As a matter of fact, I had to go.

So I stumbled through the dark bedroom to the bathroom and went. When I stood up, to my horror, I saw a toilet full of bright red blood. Not spotting, not "old blood" as the Drs like to call it, but a crime scene in my toilet (Once again, sorry boys).

Jeremy and I made our way to the ER in complete silence. We knew this was it and we couldn't believe it had taken this long for it to finally happen.

But once again, we sat in the dark ultrasound room to see a happy little baby, swimming around and waving at us. A nice, strong heartbeat. Cervix was closed. Everything was fine.

Tell me why we decided to do this whole parenting thing again?

Long story short, the ER doc (who was an ass) had no idea what was wrong with me. As I laid there he asked,

"So I assume you are here for an ultrasound?"

Like I was some crazy pregnant lady who just wanted to see a picture of my baby.

Um, I dunno doc. I'm here because it looked like someone cut their arm off in my bathroom. YOU tell me what my next steps are.


Also, maybe you could be a little more rough when you are giving me a pelvic exam? I think you could jam that speculum in me a little faster and crank it up a little farther. I don't think the people on MARS can see my cervix.

Anyway, we were relieved, but still terrified. What the hell was happening?

My midwife is a saint and pulled some strings to get us in the next morning to see another perinatologist and get more scans.

Once again, everything was fine. Baby looked great and they couldn't tell exactly where the bleeding was coming from. Since it seems to all come at once, then taper off to spotting before going away (miscarriage is usually the opposite) they think it may be coming from a small area where he said he sees the membrane had lifted up a bit and blood pooled before just releasing. He also said he can't be 100% sure, but as long as the baby is healthy, we are good. I may just be one of those unlucky women who bleed throughout my pregnancy. Scary, yes, but not necessarily a problem for the baby.

He told me to take it easy for a few days and no exercise for a week (anytime I have a bleed like that). Other than that, I can resume normal activity again.

I will say the one good thing about this happening when it did, was that I have been so sick lately that I have done absolutely ZERO exercise in the past week and half before this happened. So i know for a fact that it didn't have anything to do with it. Which is what they have been telling me all along, but now I can believe it.

However, even with all that, I am seriously considering just giving up on the running dream until this troublemaker is born. At this point, I don't know if I will ever be comfortable with it. And I know J will not be cool with it either. We have had so many scares, I just don't think it's worth it. If for nothing more, than just peace of mind.

Looks like I'll be taking up power walking. Maybe I can change my blog to "A Brand New Life as a Totally Stressed Out Mother of a Child Who is Already Sending Me to an Early Grave and Power Walker."

Good Lord, how bored will all of you be after reading about my pregnancy drama and WALKING for 6 more months? I feel for you.

So, you know what FIVE ultrasounds in 12 weeks means, right? MORE baby pics. These were taken at our 12w1d appointment with the peri. After my heart settled back into my chest after the terror of the previous day, we could actually enjoy the pictures. We can start to see some more features here, which is always fun.

Enjoy seeing the kid while you can. After it's born, it will be grounded for at least two months.







That Pink Girl said...

Bless you heart, as if you haven't been through enough without having to be terrified like that. So glad everything is good though. Listen to your heart and you'll know the right thing to do as far as running go. And hey, I'm always so J of those power walking older ladies that pass me up on the course. They walk faster than I can run!

M said...

Glad it turned out ok.

I didn't run with either of my pregnancies for a lot of reasons, including just being worried after our previous losses. Despite that, I had no problems with labor and delivery and now, four years after #2 was born, I'm even more of a runner than I was pre-kids.

Hang in there. Hope it's the last scare of the pregnancy!

Erika said...

oops, that was me.

MCM Mama

Marlene said...

Scary stuff. Glad to hear your little bean is doing well!

Don't worry, running will be there for you when the time comes.

Thank you so much for your awesome, supportive comment. I really appreciate it.

Unknown said...

scary experiences you've had. i don't blame you for being stressed out.

you have plenty of time to run...later...just take care of yourself. no shame in powerwalking. :-)

Runner Leana said...

Having a happy and healthy pregnancy is the most important thing. There will be plenty of time for running after. That's what jogging stollers are for, right? Do what feels right for you!

Wow...glad everyone is okay!!!

Christie said...

OMG! You scared the crap out of me. Luckily, I kept on reading. I'm glad that you and baby are okay!

Jolene said...

First- whew. I'm definitely going on this journey with you and anxiously await to hear everything is fine. Next- I think we had similar pregnancies...for the first few months, I felt so sick and could barely get to and from work each day without puking. I would get home and collapse on the sofa. Around the 5th month I started to feel better, more energy, less nausea, and then successfully worked out nearly every single day of my pregnancy (mostly weights and walking) until the day I had the baby. I think you are doing the right thing by not running for now- like you said, at least you will know you did ABSOLUTELY everything on Earth to nurture this little baby and will never have to wonder if you should have done things differently. Thanks for the pics, and never feel bad posting too many of 'em!!!

Julie D said...

Glad it wasn't anything serious... Lots and lots of walking is just as good as running. In fact, I've been doing a lot of that since I got injured in June. I am getting better and I'm getting that whole "my lung are weak" feeling, but oh well. I'm still getting my fresh air, anyhow!

Natalie D said...

i'll powerwalk w you anytime!!! I would be scared s-less and wouldnt run either!!!

Denise said...

Geesh, what a scare! I'm so glad everything is ok!! Definitely take it easy and I don't think you should run, either!! :-)

I swear I saw J running on Saturday morning. Did he start pretty early?

joyRuN said...

GAH! Crime scene in your toilet?!

I'm so glad things look okay. And yes, I will enjoy your beautiful pics until your kid is born grounded :)

Take things easy - you'll have the jogging stroller do run out the ants in your pants later.

Plus it'll give me time to catch up to your pace.

X-Country2 said...

Oh no,not another scare! You keep taking care of yourself. You'll be back to full running strength before you know it.

Chic Runner said...

Oh no! I'm glad everything is okay but I'm sorry that you were so scared. :( Take it easy and hopefully nothing else will happen. You'll be back running before you know it, don't even worry!

Aron said...

phew glad everything was ok... i know that was not easy and very scary.

i wont ever be board reading your blog even if it is about walking... plus we get to read about your experiences being pregnant and i like that :)

hang in there girlie! hope the scares stop soon.

Jennifer Burgett said...

I'm not sure how I missed this news!!!! Congratulations!!!!

I can't imagine how scary all of this has been for you. I am due in 6 weeks and haven't ran/or blogged about it since April. I do miss it though and can't wait to start back.

Best of luck for you!

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry you had to go through another scare. However, I am so happy all is ok with the baby. Hang in there and keep taking it easy.

The same type of situation with bleeding in the first trimester happened to my mother when she was pregnant with me. She too had some issue in the past and as a result was on bedrest for a few weeks. In the end all worked out and I was a big healty baby 8lbs 10ozs. Keep taking it easy and listening to your body. You guys are in my thoughts.

Kari said...

I stumbled across your blog back in the winter and I remember thinking "I wish I could go out and run like that." But I was still in the sleep-deprived first year of motherhood. Well, this summer I was able to get out and start running and I just ran in my second 5K. Thanks for the inspiration and best wishes on your pregnancy:)

streak said...

My wife and I are going through almost the same thing as you are. We were horrified and didn't want to believe anything until the dr. explained to us that we have a healthy baby brewing. I miss running as well but having a healthy baby and beautiful wife is the most important thing. Running will be there when the time comes.

Good luck to both of you and hang in there.

Before I'm 35 said...

Thankfully I was able to run up to 25 weeks with my pregnancy. I could have gone longer, but it was just too stressful for me - I was worrying the whole time about contractions, pre-term labor, stress on my back, etc ... It was hard for me to decide to hang up the running shoes, but once I did it, I felt so much better and never regretted it.

And my dog and I walked about 4 miles a day - he loved it! It wasn't running, but I came to enjoy our walks. There was some calm to it after all that running and pushing myself, if that makes any sense.

Good luck!

Denise said...

That had to be J then!! That's exactly where I was around that time.

And seriously, what is up with Fairmont Park. All the times I've been there by myself. This really sucks.

NancyPants said...

Oh my God....again? You must be so exhausted!!! I'm glad everything turned out okay.

Great ultrasound can really tell what everything is. How exciting!!!

MoDLin said...

Sorry you need to put the brakes on for now, but it will be worth it later. Just think, a year from now you'll be out zipping along with a jogging stroller in front of you.

Best wishes.

Tall Girl Running said...

To every thing there is a season and a time to every purpose under heaven... blah blah blah.

You're doing the right thing by making the little one (and yourself) the priority right now. I know you must feel antsy to run but when you hold that healthy baby in your arms you won't regret it.

Continued blessings!!

I Run for Fun said...
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I Run for Fun said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
I Run for Fun said...

That is scary. So glad everything is OK. Power walking comes very close to running...and you have years and years of running ahead of you. Take care of yourself and the baby...sending you lots of healthy vibes, girl!!!

fancy nancy said...

I don't blame you at all for not running! There will be plenty of time for that when your baby is born! How terrifying though! Hang in there...the nausea usually goes away after the first trimester..I kept mints around with me because they seemed to settle my stomach!

Dori said...

Whoa, you could write a book. That was a page turner. Glad your baby boy is fine.

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