Sunday, January 06, 2008

My mind is made up...

What a crap week.

My emotions have taken a ride on the proverbial roller coaster. One minute everything seems to be going my way and then wouldn't you know it, my stomach is doing flip-flops from dropping down another hill.

Without boring anyone with details, lets just say I had a lot of things planned out for how the next year of my life was going to unfold. We (J and I) have been planning certain things for almost a year and this week a lot of what we had planned pretty much flew out the window. Tough to deal with on many different levels.

I may have had an easier time with all of it, if at least my plans for running had been going my way. Since all the nagging injuries I have had, which seem to change from one thing to another every time I run, running is just another thing on that list that seems out of my control. Another thing that I am longing for that I just can't have.

The thing that really sucks about it, is that running is the one thing that would actually make me feel better about all this other shit. Running clears my mind, makes me take better care of myself, which makes me feel better about myself. When I don't run, I eat and drink like a pig which just makes me feel disgusting, weak and sad. When I feel healthy, I feel better about everything else. I need running now more than ever.

So this is why I was so bummed out this week when I went to my new PT. Before he even evaluated me, or let me finish telling him what was wrong with me, he immediately told me to forget about running the Miami Half.

"Not gonna happen." he said.

Of course that was after he hurried me along while I was trying to explain to him my problems. Then he automatically told me I have a back problem, which is fine, but he completely missed the part about my tendon issues and the IT band pain, which was why I was there in the first place. Never mind the fact that he wore an awful 70's sweatsuit, didn't wear underwear and rubbed his junk all over my knee when he was stretching my leg, cut me off every time I opened my mouth to speak, rubbed my back so hard I thought he was going to break it (it was bruised the next day) and just generally made me uncomfortable. Oh and of course, when I told him what my other PT had told me, he basically told me she was stupid. Of course.

So after he stretched me, rubbed my back and had me do back exercises he had me run. When my IT band started aching he seemed surprised, like, "Oh, you have an IT band issue as well?!?!?" Sigh. Maybe if he would have let me finish explaining myself!!! Grrrr.

Now, I know it sounds bad, but I am not saying this guy is unqualified. He is a well-known PT in the area, owns his own popular running store, taught as an adjunct at various Universities and written countless articles on gait analysis and running. He knows his stuff. I just think that our personalities do not match at all and I just got a really weird feeling about him.

So after telling J how I felt, he agreed he was weird (he is going to him as well), but he knows his stuff and it only cost us 15 bucks, so we should give it another chance, blah, blah, blah...

Then, after he found out some running gossip about him from a reliable source, he agreed to let me go back to the first PT if I told them I was limited to 2-3 visits. I called and made an appointment immediately.

I went back to him for a second visit though on Friday (it was too late to cancel and I figured I should give him one more chance to redeem himself to me). Maybe I was being too judgmental. Anyway, he was better, but I am just not convinced he is the right fit for me. I have another appointment with him tomorrow, but on Wednesday it's back to the first PT. I hope I am making the right decision.

So the good news is that after having our gait analysis, we figured out the correct shoes we need to be in. Jeremy and I both have narrow feet and slightly overpronate. He was in a neutral shoe, and my shoe was fine, but too wide in the middle. So I switched from my beloved Saucony's to a new pair of Asics 2130's.


Pretty snazzy huh? I broke them in on a 3 mile run tonight and good news all around! First off, love the shoes. I thought they wouldn't be cushiony enough for me, but they are. And since they are snug in the middle they seem to really stabilize my feet.
But even better than that is that this is the longest run I have had since the Columbus Marathon where I wasn't in excruciating pain (yes, 3 miles is my longest run in two months and I want to run a half-marathon). At the very end, I could feel my leg getting weak, like the pain was coming, but I stopped in time.

Since the Miami Half Marathon is three weeks away, I have made up my mind. I am definitely running it. I think if I work my way up to a slow 10 mile run in two weeks, I can do it. I was thinking about just dropping out completely, but you know what? Screw it. It's already paid for. If all else fails, I'll power-walk that bitch. No more feeling sorry for myself. I don't care what annoying PT's in bad attire tell me.

I'm doing it damn it!


chirunner said...

I feel your pain. I didn't have IT band problems, but back, knees and shin splints so bad I gave up running for many years. Then I found ChiRunning. It gave me my running life back. Now I'm running farther than when I was in my 20s and with a lot less effort and best of all without pain. If you have injuries, you might want to check out Good luck in Miami.

My Life said...

I am so sorry you've been having such crap days... personal stuff can be rough and adding in issues with the running - you poor thing.

Things will turn around. They will.

And follow your gut with that PT guy... eesh. I hate it when medical people rush you and don't hear you out. (where did you have your gait analyzed?).

Be well friend.

Anonymous said...

Congrats on the snazzy new shoes :)

I'm hoping to run/jog/walk/crawl/drag myself to the finish line at a half marathon this May, however, my longest run to date has also been 3 miles.

Here's hoping we can both be successful :D Hope you find a sympathetic and caring PT soon.

Lori said...

I hope things start falling into place for you soon. It always seems like when one thing goes wrong, everything follows right behind it :( I am weirded out by the PT guy just from your description! I like the woman one so much better! Good luck with the half, I'm sure you will do great :)

Jess said...

I'm sorry things haven't been going your way, but eventually the IT pain will subside -- with proper treatment. If you're going to Miami, would you like to meet up (either before or after) in some capacity? I don't know if it will be feasible, but if you're interested, you can email me at tygress422 at yahoo dot com.

P.O.M. said...

I love my Asics. I'm sorry about your drama/pain. Life is seriously shitty for me right now, but not ready to talk about it on line.

Anyway, I think our half's are a week apart. I am so not ready for mine, but running it anyways. It's pretty much all I have going for me right now. wahhhhhhhh

Marcy said...

Sweet kicks lady!!!! Loving the looks of them!

Uggghhhhh PT dude sounds waaayyyy too creepy for me and am overall jerk. I generally go by what a psychotherapist told me once (yeah I was a head case and still am :P) "If at any point in time you're not comfortable with me or feel like I'm not helping you out, then you NEED to switch therapists otherwise you're just going to be shortchanging yourself" Even though she was talking about herself I find it useful for ALL doctors,therapists, etc . .

Sonia said...

Ok, seriously that PT without underwear is disgusting.... lol Good on you for toughing him out!!!

WE HAVE THE SAME SHOES! How funny! =) They are pretty sassy.

I'm sure you can finish the half, if time is not important to you. But just make sure it will not make you set-back yourself more.

Lastly, sorry to hear about the crappy news. I know exactly how you're feeling about running and I think that's why so many of us need to keep training (i.e. to keep our sanity and relax). Hang in there and see if another PT will help more than the "Dude-Without-Pants"!!!

Before I'm 35 said...

I'm so sorry you are having a craptacular week.

I say go for it on the half, just be careful!

Sonia said...

Hey Laurel, I wanted to ask how much you paid for your 2130??? I paid mine 159,99$ + 15% taxes so if they are cheaper in Miami (and you tell me where to go) I might get my next pair there! Thanks =)

Hope you're feeling better

busted said...

Running or any cardiovascular activity for me produces the endorphins that give you that great feeling. Even if running doesn't work out, there are other types of work outs that can produce the same effects. One of the ways that I have found useful to deal with my injuries is by doing yoga and different types of stretching. It works wonders for me. Marathons are always hard on the body until your body adjusts to it. Definately, switch therapists to someone you feel comfortable with and another thing you should try is massage therapy. Never allow someone to rub or press on your back to the point of too much pain for you to handle. Definately speak up.

I am getting ready to run my first official marathon in Phoenix this Sunday. Wish me luck and I do the same for you.

Michelle said...

Sorry about all the crap going on in your life, Laurel. I hope things turn around for you soon!

Go out and knock 'em dead in the HM! Even if you have to walk, you can do it!

zanne said...

oh laurel! i am so sorry that things aren't going as you planned.

on that PT ... ew. i went to one that creepd me out too ... think i went 3x and then called it quits on him & went to another one that i loved. if they creep you out & give you an icky feeling, and don't even listen to you - then you gotta move on.

glad you figured out the shoe thing - hope the new ones work for you.

take it easy girl, stay strong - it will all get better.

Anonymous said...

Keep your chin up Laurel! I hope things got better in the last week.

Crap days happen to us all and I can completely relate to your PT woes!! A good PT is hard to come by and sometimes running issues are just so hard to pin-point. I’m seeing one currently for a hamstring problem that might just be my back. Honestly, it just seems like it’s been trial and error for way too long.

I've recently started my own blog to fill some time that I'm not out there pounding the concrete. Also, I too fall into this boat…

“Running clears my mind, makes me take better care of myself, which makes me feel better about myself. When I don't run, I eat and drink like a pig which just makes me feel disgusting, weak and sad.”

I honestly couldn’t have said it better myself! I hope you'll check out my blog sometime. Seems like you've been doing this for a while and I'd appreciate any advice/feedback you have! :)

I just started a few days ago, but plan to make it part personal and part reviews, suggestions and opinions on current trends news and events (mostly all running related). I think at this point, it’s going to be more focused on the sport as it relates to all women, running for all reasons.

Also, just a bit of advice about the Miami Marathon. I know it’s hard to take yourself out, but no one knows your body as well as you. Determine (before you race) what pain level you will go to until you remove yourself from the race. There are no rewards for pushing yourself through an injury and in the long run you’ll just be side lined longer. Best of luck to you and I look forward to reading how things turn out!!

healthy ashley said...

I just bought those shoes-- but mine are the 2120. I can already tell what you mean with the cushion and support. And aren't new running shoes the best anyway? Best luck on your upcoming race!

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